About the Bailout Bandits

My Photo
In 2008 (about three months ago), a crack engineering/racing unit was sent to prison for stealing bailout money from the financial institutions and CEO's. These men promptly escaped from a federal penitentiary and headed to the Washington D.C. underground. Today, still wanted by the feds, they survive as modern day Robin Hoods (without the tights, of course). If you work for the Big 3, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The Bailout Bandits.
Loading...

Friday, March 20, 2009

Bailout Bandits Pictures

There have been several pictures that have not been included in the blog, however they do show the progress the team has made to date. The pictures contained in the link provided below detail the transformation of the 1994 Mazda 626 (found on Craigslist) from LeMon law violator into the Green Mazda Money Machine that the Bailout Bandits will use as their primary getaway car.

http://picasaweb.google.com/Bailout.Bandits/LemonsPics?feat=directlink

Enjoy!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Rollcage has been installed!!!

Last weekend the team received short notice that Torch would be arriving in town to weld the rollcage. The feds were on to him, so he didn't have much time to spend in DC. For this reason, the team had to work overtime in order to get everything done. Trump, Wheelman, and Brewski stripped the car of all its doors Friday night and finalized some remaining prep work prior to the marathon weekend of welding.



The following morning, Torch flew in from his underground hideout and began welding together our steel tube 3-D jigsaw puzzle. During rollcage installation, Brewski and Trump gutted all four doors (in hopes to reduce weight even further), and also constructed an adjustable seat mount from the 626's OEM seats. Wheelman, extremely proficient at the bench grinder, seemed to be the only one qualified to trim up the tubing when needed.

Torch started welding sometime around 1100 AM Saturday morning and finished up around 1600 Sunday afternoon. At this point, the rollcage was completely installed. Sleep deprived and covered in metal shavings, dirt, and grease, the team called it a weekend and cleaned up the garage.

New Shoes!!!

Wheelman ordered the front brake rotors, brake pads, and tires a few weeks back. They have since arrived and will be mounted to the rims this weekend! Our LeMon is starting to look like a racecar...

Monday, February 16, 2009

The roll cage tubing is in!!!

Two weeks ago, Brewski and Wheelman spent a couple hours measuring for the roll cage, and placed the order quickly upon acceptance to the race. To our pleasant surprise, the roll cage was ready to be picked up this weekend (Wheelman drove down to Richmond, VA to get it last Friday)!!! Yesterday, Trump, Wheelman, and Brewski spent the day prepping the car for the roll cage (scrapping the floorboards, removing dash, etc.) and did a little trimming/prep of the roll cage tubes. There is still plenty to do, but we got a pretty good start.

Chopping springs!!!

After stripping over 300 pounds out of the car, Wheelman and Trump spent some time chopping springs in order to lower ride height and improve handling. Post op, the car now sits about where it did before all the weight loss.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Introducing the Bailout Bandits!!!

Fed up with the unending politics and recent outpour of “no strings attached” taxpayer money to banks and insurance companies while the Big 3 with their comparatively minuscule request get the third degree by Congress, a crazed group of automotive enthusiasts banded together with the goal of putting our dollars in the right hands. Like a modern day Robin Hood, but without the tights, the Bailout Bandits patrol the streets of Washington DC, intercept bailout dollars headed to making Bank CEO's and Wall Street tycoons richer, and redirect them to support the automotive industry. To avoid detection our plan is to travel the country and use the exciting world of 24hr Lemons racing to distribute this money $500 at a time.

Preparations are underway on our Mighty Mazda 626 Money Machine. It's our getaway car...I mean “racecar”. The worn green paint exactly matches that of a well used and torn dollar bill, while its Japanese name keeps a low profile with the authorities looking for us bandits. If you don't believe all of that, well how about it was the first car we found on Craigslist for under $500 that was actually still running.

Our team consists of some interesting characters. First, there is “Brewski” the jolly New Mexican beer man. Every team needs a beer man. Plus, he gives our team international appeal...well almost. We've learned when we need something done, he responds best to BEER ME. Then there is “Trump” the hardball salesman. A self proclaimed master on the “art of the deal”, he ensures we get the most out of all our negotiations. He also practices saying YOUR FIRED in front of the mirror every morning so we are ready if anyone acts up on or off the track. “Doc” the old man philosopher gives us wisdom without answers. He is supposed to be our voice of reason, but somehow seems to always question our existence and the purpose of life. Fortunately, those answers are easy – RACING, LEMONS RACING! “Torch” is the traveling welder. No one knows where he lives or what he does, he just shows up to cut and fuse metal. For sure a handy guy to have whether we are preparing the car or cutting through bank safes. Rumor has it he helped Paris Hilton coin the phrase, “That's HOT!”. We also have “Wheelman” our crazy getaway driver and team captain. In actuality, he is just fast enough to get out of his own way, but we don't tell him that. We put lead in the bottom of his right shoe to help him pick up the pace. The sound of gunshots or shouting “Go! Go! Go!” also work. Finally, we are currently in negotiations with our local access cable television networks to start a new reality show called “The Search for Bandit 6”. This crazy Lemons thing sounds like too much fun not to share with a 6th driver. Well that, and we want their money.

In summary, we think we are a cool bunch of yahoos looking to have some fun and share our shenanigans with the 24hrs of Lemons. Although parts of our concept may be somewhat fictional, it represents the team's sentiment. We are a bunch of gear heads with a passion for cars and motorsports.

Introducing the Bailout Bandits, in no particular order:

Thursday, January 22, 2009

The crapcan has been stripped!!!

Again, I apologize for the tardiness of this post, but we stripped down the interior of the car on 11 January 2009. Wheelman was responsible for gutting the driver side, Trump took care of the passenger side, and Brewski dominated the trunk/backseat. Instead of boring you with the details, I will simply let the pictures speak for themselves. Enjoy!

Before:



















After:
Using Trump's carefully calibrated body mass, we were able to estimate the total weight loss of the junker to within approximately +/- 5 lbs using a highly accurate bathroom scale. The green money machine weighed in at approximately 2911 lbs. Total weight exhumed from the interior (seats, carpet, radio, spare tire, etc.) was approximately 325 lbs, which drops the total weight down to about 2586 lbs. The pictures speak for themselves!!!