About the Bailout Bandits

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In 2008 (about three months ago), a crack engineering/racing unit was sent to prison for stealing bailout money from the financial institutions and CEO's. These men promptly escaped from a federal penitentiary and headed to the Washington D.C. underground. Today, still wanted by the feds, they survive as modern day Robin Hoods (without the tights, of course). If you work for the Big 3, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The Bailout Bandits.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Introducing the Bailout Bandits!!!

Fed up with the unending politics and recent outpour of “no strings attached” taxpayer money to banks and insurance companies while the Big 3 with their comparatively minuscule request get the third degree by Congress, a crazed group of automotive enthusiasts banded together with the goal of putting our dollars in the right hands. Like a modern day Robin Hood, but without the tights, the Bailout Bandits patrol the streets of Washington DC, intercept bailout dollars headed to making Bank CEO's and Wall Street tycoons richer, and redirect them to support the automotive industry. To avoid detection our plan is to travel the country and use the exciting world of 24hr Lemons racing to distribute this money $500 at a time.

Preparations are underway on our Mighty Mazda 626 Money Machine. It's our getaway car...I mean “racecar”. The worn green paint exactly matches that of a well used and torn dollar bill, while its Japanese name keeps a low profile with the authorities looking for us bandits. If you don't believe all of that, well how about it was the first car we found on Craigslist for under $500 that was actually still running.

Our team consists of some interesting characters. First, there is “Brewski” the jolly New Mexican beer man. Every team needs a beer man. Plus, he gives our team international appeal...well almost. We've learned when we need something done, he responds best to BEER ME. Then there is “Trump” the hardball salesman. A self proclaimed master on the “art of the deal”, he ensures we get the most out of all our negotiations. He also practices saying YOUR FIRED in front of the mirror every morning so we are ready if anyone acts up on or off the track. “Doc” the old man philosopher gives us wisdom without answers. He is supposed to be our voice of reason, but somehow seems to always question our existence and the purpose of life. Fortunately, those answers are easy – RACING, LEMONS RACING! “Torch” is the traveling welder. No one knows where he lives or what he does, he just shows up to cut and fuse metal. For sure a handy guy to have whether we are preparing the car or cutting through bank safes. Rumor has it he helped Paris Hilton coin the phrase, “That's HOT!”. We also have “Wheelman” our crazy getaway driver and team captain. In actuality, he is just fast enough to get out of his own way, but we don't tell him that. We put lead in the bottom of his right shoe to help him pick up the pace. The sound of gunshots or shouting “Go! Go! Go!” also work. Finally, we are currently in negotiations with our local access cable television networks to start a new reality show called “The Search for Bandit 6”. This crazy Lemons thing sounds like too much fun not to share with a 6th driver. Well that, and we want their money.

In summary, we think we are a cool bunch of yahoos looking to have some fun and share our shenanigans with the 24hrs of Lemons. Although parts of our concept may be somewhat fictional, it represents the team's sentiment. We are a bunch of gear heads with a passion for cars and motorsports.

Introducing the Bailout Bandits, in no particular order:

Thursday, January 22, 2009

The crapcan has been stripped!!!

Again, I apologize for the tardiness of this post, but we stripped down the interior of the car on 11 January 2009. Wheelman was responsible for gutting the driver side, Trump took care of the passenger side, and Brewski dominated the trunk/backseat. Instead of boring you with the details, I will simply let the pictures speak for themselves. Enjoy!


Using Trump's carefully calibrated body mass, we were able to estimate the total weight loss of the junker to within approximately +/- 5 lbs using a highly accurate bathroom scale. The green money machine weighed in at approximately 2911 lbs. Total weight exhumed from the interior (seats, carpet, radio, spare tire, etc.) was approximately 325 lbs, which drops the total weight down to about 2586 lbs. The pictures speak for themselves!!!

Blog has been updated!!!!

First, I would like to thank the team and our "fans" for their patience in waiting for some updates to our blog. Things have been a little crazy and some people have been out of town; it is difficult to build a LeMons car when you are on the run from the feds.

Second, I would like to point your attention to the updated "About the Bailout Bandits" section. I have updated a few things including a brief description of our story and how our life of crime & sin was started on the mean streets of D.C.

Lastly, our application will be submitted by the end of the week, and hopefully we will be provided refuge at the Carolina Motorsports Park "safetrack" in Kershaw, SC. In order to evade the feds, we plan to take cover as a rambling bunch of gearheads just trying to get our race on at the 24 of LeMons (CMP) event in early April. Stay tuned for more!!!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The LeMon is here!!!

It is a 1994 Mazda 626 that was purchased from Craigslist for $500 even.

The bad news: This car suffers from a deteriorating paint job, intermittent sunroof, bad ABS module, broken CD player (and LCD screen), worn synchro's, and the inability to open the rear passenger side door from the inside.

The good news: We can live with most of these since we are stripping all that crap out (except for the synchro's of course)! Plus, she came with a fairly new radiator!